Red Sox Reality Check

There's no doubt who's in charge, and if he's considering any of the ridiculous trades we're hearing, prepare the tar and feathers. 1. Manny and Clement and money and prospects for Tejada - are you that desperate to rid yourself of a future Hall-of-Famer? Maybe. 2. Wells for various Dodger prospects. Who can know? 3. Gil Meche and Jeremy Reed for Papelbon or Lester. Are you crazy? Talk about jumping the shark for stupidity. You cannot trade your low-salaried high value prospects for dreck. Yeah, we're talking schmootz. Theo, get the S.W.A.T. team, the battering ram, and take control of the offices. Reverse the Dumping the Theo bag-job in the harbor. Don't tax the Nation without representation.

Christmas break is here, so much for the hard work, extracurricular activities, and schoolboy pranks. It's time for mid-term grades in the Hot Stove League, and nobody promised you easy marks. Of course, I'm realistic enough to know that decisions made today only receive judgement through the unforgiving retrospectoscope of history. "Larry Anderson for that Bagwell kid? Hallelujah." We're running a tight ship here, so we'll use some modified Navy courses for the kids. Leadership and Management - At times, the right hand appears not to have a clue concerning the left. Trading your best shortstop prospect and two weeks later trading your shortstop can't be viewed as profiles in courage, rather pro files in discouragement. Signing on two competent assistants as co-GMs, followed by the fireside chat press conference seemed amateurish at best. John Henry's bemusement at Theo Epstein's disappearing act argued for lack of communication between the CEO and...

(BOSTON) Angry Larry Lucchino supporters surrounded the home of insignificant physician, Ron Sen, waving placards "Chill Out, Jerk" and "Sox to Rule Again Soon" Aerial photograph of crowd protesting Anti-Lucchino journalism (click photo to enlarge) Okay, I'm sorry. Mr. Lucchino, please forgive me, and for gawd's sake, call off the dogs. It's tough enough to get into my driveway between the ice and snow, without 50,000 Larryphiles obstructing my 1995 Nissan. Okay, I'll never question your judgement about tossing that pipsqueak ingrate out, or consolidating your rule by installing underlings, and yes, I accept the fact that even with the inherent fairness of a virtual waiting room, that I'll never live long enough to sit in the Green Monster seats. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa. Yessiree, I've done you wrong. After all, I have nothing but admiration for your boss, Mr. Henry, trader extraordinaire. If he had a book on trading, I'd own it. ...

I had a conversation today with a former Red Sox who happened to be visiting. He had a few insights which I thought you might like to hear. First, he said that he played with a player who was terrific at stealing signs, especially from second base. He said that the player would kick the bag if he had the signals, and then look to the right for a fastball and to the left for a breaking pitch. Second, he said that it was his opinion that the Sox would go hard after Millwood. He also thought that Glaus would look pretty good in the Sox lineup, although he had no idea whether that was feasible. Finally, he noted that although Canseco took a lot of grief about his steroid allegations, that it looked like he might have been a lot closer to the truth than was widely accepted.

First, for anyone who bothers to come here, you must read Bill Simmons at http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/051223 Now that's off my chest, so we can move on. Who's actually in charge? Oh yeah, that would be the Overlord - TheoSlayer, with Ben and Jed mixing the drinks, running some spreadsheet projections, and reading Sox fans suggestions that they trade Matt Clement for Johan Santana and throw in some cash. Thus far, with roughly seven weeks to go before Spring Training, the Sox remind me of the old joke, "what's the difference between the Boy Scouts and the Navy?" Adult leadership. Obviously, there is no established (read overpaid) shortstop (I'm really okay with Alex Cora), no centerfielder (please do not suggest Trot Nixon), and no first baseman. J.T. Snow? Why don't we get Willie McCovey? A .709 OPS in a declining 37 year-old glove man smacks of one theme only, "economy." A few points are in order. The presumptive rota...

Now she found herself in the fast lane livin’ day to day Turned her back on her best friends, yeah And let her family slip away Just like a lost soul Caught up in the hollywood scene All the parties and the limousines Such a good actress hiding all her pain Trading her memories for fortune and fame Just a step away from the edge of a fall Caught between heaven and hell Where’s the girl I knew a year ago --Fallen Angel, from Poison I don't have a problem with Damon taking the most money, whether it's from the hated Yankees, the Red Sox, the Orioles, or the Hanshin Tigers. What irritates me, and probably much of Red Sox Nation is Damon dissembling the love of money under the cloak of lack of respect or commitment from the Red Sox. Johnny Damon becomes one of the highest paid baseball players on the planet. Perhaps he grew up dirt poor, or had to drive a cab in the summer as a teenager, or sweat under the hot sun doing construction. In other words, he had to work for a li...

Nominees for the Best 'Johnny' Award in a Deserting Role Music: Johnny Paycheck Johnny B Gone Johnny Angel - Not! Johnny Legend (in his own mind) Chances Are (Johnny Matthis) Musician: The real Johnny Cash Pop culture: Johnny Quest Dyslexia: Johnny Nomad Pornstar? Long John Gold? Actor? Johnny Schlep Football? Johnny Divide-us meet Johnny Unitas Good Johnny-Bad Johnny? Pesky-Damon And the winner: Johnny Paycheck ...

Maybe it's premature to be thinking about uttering the 'last word' on the Damon defection. But that never stopped me before. The structure of Major League Baseball not only permits but encourages free agency, allowing all players an opportunity to strike it rich, but incentivizing agents to 'pave the road' for their own enrichment. Johnny Damon, like the Red Sox and the Yankees made a business decision, one that was best for him. As I wrote earlier, while taking a 'hometown discount' is attractive to us, it wasn't to him. It's all about the Benjamins. There was an article recently in the Boston Globe about long waits for doctors' appointments. Why is that? Simply, the compensation structure for Massachusetts physicians, added to new physicians' debt (educational), practice costs, and area housing costs make attracting physicians from outside Massachusetts difficult. Massachusetts cannot compete with the south and parts of the midwest. I know...

Johnny Quest's journey is complete as he lands in Gotham for Megabucks, another mercenary looking for a star in front of Chinese theaters. Characterizing Damon's choice as purely that of a gold digger or miscreant trivializes the process. According to reports, Damon got an extra 12 million bucks, not bad for a player at an age where skills traditionally atrophy, plagued by minor injuries, and who throws 'like a girl' (no insult meant to my daughters). If we could magically get 'bubble quotes' those little quotes over the head in a bubble, what would the principals say? George Steinbrenner: "Bleep you, Larry." Larry Lucchino: "Excedrin with my coffee, Jed and Ben." John Henry: "We made decisions through careful financial evaluation and trend analysis, same as we would do in any of our businesses. We wish Mr. Damon well in his future endeavors." Manny Ramirez: "Johnny who?" Terry Francona: "We have to worry about the gu...

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." That might not work for the "Check". As the Stooges might say, "if at first you don't succeed, then keep on sucking until you do suck seed." Let's review where we are concerning the question marks. The Sox needn't be desperate at shortstop, with at least the possibility of an Alex Cora / Dustin Pedroia platoon. Pedroia can't be any worse at shortstop than David Eckstein , and half the world is ga-ga over the diminutive ex-Sox prospect. I'm not in that half. Cora was decent defensively and played heads-up baseball, which isn't necessarily a Sox staple. Pedroia injured his hand and became persona non grata. At first base, Kevin Youkilis is rumored to be asking, "what do I have to do?" Is Bill Lajoie part of the group that's overly concerned about Youkilis not looking like Gabe Kapler ? Kapler, a good guy, is a career .330/.421/.751 guy in 2544 plate appearances. Youk is .376...

Who's pulling the strings at Fenway? First and foremost, John Henry, one of the four hundred richest men on the planet, is a businessman. That's not criticism, or meant solely as fact, but as a compliment. Of course, Henry can't be micromanaging every business decision, any more than he can make every trade for his investment empire. Success at the top means setting goals, with not only a vision and a plan, and hiring the right people to execute your plan. All of which brings us to the state of management. We have every reason to believe that the Hoyers and Cheringtons of the organization will continue to point the Sox in the right direction. The question is, who establishes the philosophy, the direction, the priorities, the budget, and surveys the constantly changing landscape that is baseball? As a fan, I have great confidence in the CEO's ability to create an improving (albeit antiquated and expensive) physical plant, to establish business operations priorities, to e...

In the 'worst kept secret of the millenium' the Red Sox announced that Jed Hoyer and Ben Cherington would serve as co-General Managers. Will they alternate day by day, day and night, week by week, month by month, decision by decision? Decisions, decisions. Emperor for Life 'Theoslayer' served as ringmaster for the circus that defines Red Sox management. The Overlord didn't have any specific announcements pertaining to his plan to raise Master Theo from the Baseball Dead. Is it time to let up on the Sox management for their inept negotiations with their former GM? I don't know. If we don't do it, who will? Surely, the everyday crowd feeding at the Red Sox trough can't be expected to provide the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So should we? The Sox point to their accomplishments, the unvarnished beauty of the (less than unanimous) Beckett deal, not so young Loretta, Marte departing from Atlanta, and surely a catcher named Huckleberry Hou...

LucchiNero Fiddles, Does Home Burn? If Larry LucchiNero sees his shadow, do we have six more weeks of baseball ‘winter’ of discontent? The Sox President, CEO, and Personnel uber-czar emerged from the Yawkey Way bunker to announce the Red Sox would restructure, that they are working hard, and yes, he did take a hit for the team. Nobody can say the Red Sox haven’t acted this offseason, with the ‘disrespect’ of former GM, Brookline homeboy Theo Epstein, renovation of the 406 Club (people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?), relocation of Edgar Renteria, and shopping spree in Florida. So, let’s ask the key questions for 2006. The answers are more obvious than you think. Will Red Sox Nation forgive the ‘Overlord’ for dispatching neo-icon Theo? He Who Must No Longer Be Named quickly pointed out that ticket sales already exceeded those following that Championship Season. Money talks. Who’s in charge ? With Alexander Haig nowhere in sight, there’s no doubt that ‘Dirty Larry’ has...

So, is Dan Shaughnessy trying to plug the leaks from the past, with rumors about Theo returning to the organization. Admittedly, abandoning to the Red Sox is nigh impossible, as once it's in the blood, it's something like varicella (chickenpox), that can return to bite you, with the pain of zoster (shingles). Speaking of pain, is the Emperor LucchiNero about to break his silence? The Sox appear likely to unleash the two headed Janus CEO or Jed Hoyer and Ben Cherington, as after all, if it doesn't work out, someone needs to be responsible. The Diamond Jims, Beattie and Bowden are at least as popular as the proverbial "peanut butter and jelly sandwich at a banquet" (was that a Larry Johnson original?). I'm fond of the saying that 'anything can happen in the stock market', which has a corollary, 'anything can happen in baseball'. Grady Little comes back from the 7th level (or eighth inning) of baseball hell, resurfacing as Dodgers' skipper. Li...

"No progress occurs without change, but not all change is progress." - John Wooden It would be premature to judge the Red Sox Winter Meeting moves, as trades take time to play out. Sometimes inaction reigns as the best choice, but one thing remains sure: "failure is an orphan but success has many fathers." Should the Sox roster shuffling work, who will take credit, and should it fail, who's the fall guy? The Red Sox Beckett dilemma reminds me of the wisdom of a greybeard, "is the patient well and worried, or sick and worried?" My boss is unfair and not that bright. That's always been the problem with being self-employed. The Celtics haven't beaten San Antonio since January 1997. That streak looks to be continuing. At least trading Joe Thornton to San Jose made the Sharks better. Edgar Renteria was the Sox shortstop of the future, but he was blocking the path of Hanley Ramirez, the Sox shortstop of the future. Who is the Red Sox shortstop of the...

The Red Sox are considering a new patch for their 2006 uniforms. Not to be outdone by Abbott and Costello, the Sox are taking the 'Who's on First?' routine to the next level. Trade rumors fly like Icarus to the sun, and as Sox fans, we don't even know whom to ask, because no one's really in charge (except his LuccHoliness, of course). Ok, Jason Varitek's going to be the catcher, and maybe Mirabelli's the backup, unless he's going to San Diego for Loretta or Dave Roberts or unnamed relief. In which case, Kelly (no-hit) Shoppach becomes the backup, unless he's gone in the Renteria to the Braves for Lugo via Tampa Bay and other fungible moving parts. At first base, it won't be John Olerud who's retiring. It could be Troy Glaus, if he moves to first if Manny's not traded, or we don't get Aubrey Huff (are we trying to get an entirely left-handed hitting lineup?). J.T. Snow is rumored to be coming to Boston (Snow in Boston, haha, big laughs...

BOSTON -- In their constant quest to add depth to the bullpen, the Red Sox on Thursday acquired right-hander Jermaine Van Buren from the Cubs for a player to be named later or cash. What's in a name? Apparently, the Red Sox have devised a new strategy to rebuild their troubled franchise. The Sox have gone 'Presidential' acquiring Jermaine Van Buren , to supplement their other Presidential resident, Trot Nixon . What are the possibilities here? Neither Terry Adams (Philadelphia) or Russ Adams (Toronto) merit consideration. Milwaukee's Mike Adams (ERA 2.70) definitely deserves some effort. Homer Bush didn't see action in 2004 and David Bush looked 'Bush league' against the Sox in 2005. Of the Carters, unfortunately the best, Gary (Hall of Fame) and Joe (memorable World Series home run) are long gone, and Lance Carter (was he the D-Ray headhunter?) leaves much to be desired. The Sox have gone the Cleveland (Reggie) and Clinton (Lou) routes in the past in thei...