Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Big Lie

The Big Lie
Okay, so the Red Sox continue to attempt to deal Manny Ramirez. Here's their proposal to Cleveland, "Manny for Grady Sizemore, Cliff Lee, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

"They've only asked The California, Los Angeles, Anaheim, once Disneyland Angels for their best two prospects, acceleration of global warming, and the beer concessions for the next three seasons.

Okay, Manny, so you want to go to Texas? We want Mark Teixeira, a dictionary, 1 million barrels of oil, and twelve season tickets to Longhorns games.

How about the Mets? Well, Pedro doesn't want to come back without a 15% trade kicker, so we'll take Lastings Milledge, Carlos Beltran, and 5 million Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Does somebody in the front office have a dartboard with a Manny face on it? Okay, so Manny can be immature, petulant, and something less than Willie Wilson running out ground balls. Maybe Einstein had bad breath, or B.O. or flatulence. He was still Einstein.

John Henry knows how important it is to know who's on the other side of the trade. None of us wannabes in Red Sox Nation have a clue who the Sox are dealing with. What the 'braintrust' needs to do is identify the MLB version of the Cleveland Cavaliers' Ted Stepien and make some blockbuster deals with them. You're not trading the market, you're trading the traders. So, Theo, get Ben and Jed to get some of these guys kinda liquored up and compromised, and let's feast on 'em. If you can get some pictures, so much the better.Yeah, so it's the Big Lie. We're competing against the Yankees and their printing press, so we gotta do what we gotta do. So make him an offer.

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