Lights, Camera, Action

Feel I'm going back to Massachusetts
Something's telling me I must go home
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
The day I left her standing on her own

Tried to hitch a ride to San Francisco
Gotta do the things I wanna do
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
They brought me back to see my way with you

Talk about the life in Massachusetts
Speak about the people I have seen
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
I will remember Massachusetts
I will remember Massachusetts
-- Massachusetts, The Bee Gees

The Red Sox intend to produce a video to entice Roger Clemens to return to Boston. Well, I'll help, but throwing him the extra money would work better. That's his history.

(Opening scene) - The Monolith from 2001, a Space Odyssey. Roger's always been larger than life. Cue the music Sprach Zarathustra

(Cut to next scene) - Red Sox legends, Williams smacking his homer into the bullpen on his last at bat, Yaz robbing Tom Tresh on Billy Rohr's no-hit bid, and of course, Roger's 20 strikeout game against Seattle, climactically fanning Phil Bradley. Bill Buckner catching the clinching popup of the ALCS. Background music: The Impossible Dream

(Next scene) - Clips from historic Boston. Fenway Park, scenes from the Freedom Trail, pictures of some lobsters, lots of restaurant pictures (the way to a man's heart), and a shot of Tom Brady holding up the three Lombardi trophies. Background music: Massachusetts (The Bee Gees).

(next scene) - Clips from Roger's Red Sox career, pitching in the World Series, some pictures of Roger winning the Cy Young, lots of smiling Roger pictures. Background music: I Need a Hero (Bonnie Tyler)

(big finish) - Scenes from The Jimmy Fund, Red Sox charities, smiling Roger with some current Red Sox teammates. Pleas from octagenarian Red Sox fans to give them just one more thrill. Music: The Second Time Around (Frank Sinatra).