Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Lights, Camera, Action

Feel I'm going back to Massachusetts
Something's telling me I must go home
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
The day I left her standing on her own

Tried to hitch a ride to San Francisco
Gotta do the things I wanna do
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
They brought me back to see my way with you

Talk about the life in Massachusetts
Speak about the people I have seen
And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
I will remember Massachusetts
I will remember Massachusetts
-- Massachusetts, The Bee Gees

The Red Sox intend to produce a video to entice Roger Clemens to return to Boston. Well, I'll help, but throwing him the extra money would work better. That's his history.

(Opening scene) - The Monolith from 2001, a Space Odyssey. Roger's always been larger than life. Cue the music Sprach Zarathustra

(Cut to next scene) - Red Sox legends, Williams smacking his homer into the bullpen on his last at bat, Yaz robbing Tom Tresh on Billy Rohr's no-hit bid, and of course, Roger's 20 strikeout game against Seattle, climactically fanning Phil Bradley. Bill Buckner catching the clinching popup of the ALCS. Background music: The Impossible Dream

(Next scene) - Clips from historic Boston. Fenway Park, scenes from the Freedom Trail, pictures of some lobsters, lots of restaurant pictures (the way to a man's heart), and a shot of Tom Brady holding up the three Lombardi trophies. Background music: Massachusetts (The Bee Gees).

(next scene) - Clips from Roger's Red Sox career, pitching in the World Series, some pictures of Roger winning the Cy Young, lots of smiling Roger pictures. Background music: I Need a Hero (Bonnie Tyler)

(big finish) - Scenes from The Jimmy Fund, Red Sox charities, smiling Roger with some current Red Sox teammates. Pleas from octagenarian Red Sox fans to give them just one more thrill. Music: The Second Time Around (Frank Sinatra).

1 comment:

TeddyBallGameFan said...

Good post, but I'm afraid that in The Rocket's case "the Lights have Gone out in Massachusetts". He'll stay home in Houston and enjoy his family while pitching for the Astros after May 1.