Dice Water in Their Veins

It appears that the deal for Daisuke Matsuzaka is done. Time for the Berlitz courses to begin and the translation sites will prosper.

But at Reality Check, we are also about 'giving back'. So here's some key hints for the Dice guy as he heads to Boston.

• Hire a driver. Why let the one way streets and rotaries make you crazy when you can easily afford quality transportation?
• Don't bother to learn much English. Whatever you do, DO NOT read Dan Shaughnessy or Gerry Callahan.
• Don't listen to sports radio.
• Listen to Jason Varitek. He's an honorable catcher. What about Mirabelli? Don't worry, you won't pitch to him much.
• Don't carry a lot of cash. Let the riff-raff (everybody but you) pick up the tab.
• Think about investing your 401-K with guys like Henry. He really does know something about money.
• Do not spend too much time with "Baseball Annies." Ask around Fenway about a guy named Derek.
• Don't forget about your Japanese baseball experience. In the American League, they can hit the stuffing out of the high hard one, and sneaky fast isn't as important as sneaky.
• You probably should learn the two most important words in the English language first, "Dunkin' Donuts."