Friday, August 04, 2006

Daydream Believer

I want to believe, that most professional athletes are larger than life, All-American he-roes. In addition to their athletic prowess, they're good to their families, have a sunny disposition, don't take alcohol, drugs, or performance enhancers, and they might even be kind to kids and like animals. I'm sure some meet these stringent goals, but probably no more than doctors, lawyers, butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers.

So, do we need some classification to help us identify the wheat from the chaff? Please feel free to use it for athletes, rock stars, and dog catchers. I'm not going to give examples because frankly I don't know many pro athletes, and if I did, I don't think I'd rat them out.

1. Bunyanesque. Larger than life, all-around good guy.

2. Delightful rogue. Flawed but intriguing personally.

3. Lothario. See below for married players.

4. Philandering hypocrite. Kinda speaks for itself.

5. Shylock. Tightfisted rich guy.

6. Self-absorbed narcissist.

7. Miserable buzzard.

These aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but it least they give us somewhere to start.

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