"Nothing Cheaper Than Free Advice"

So what should we talk about today? Which first baseman the Red Sox should look to acquire or how do the Sox try to dig themselves out of the PR hole they've dug?

As best we can tell, Larry Lucchino dug this hole, and he should have the fortitude to explain himself. Or not? Larry's in the press and on television more often than almost everything except the World Poker Tour and Paris Hilton. All of a sudden, we've seen more of Howard Hughes.

Okay, Larry's busy, making phone calls and reviewing resumes for the next GM. Let's see. Kevin Towers...previously worked with Larry...'Hello, Kevin?' "Click..." Gerry Hunsicker, signed with Tampa. Doug Melvin. He's rumored to be resigning an extension with Milwaukee. Why can't we resign executives like that? What about Tony LaCava, ostensibly young, a 'nice guy', and a personnel/development guy. He hasn't worked with Larry before (so he won't automatically refuse) and he'd probably work cheap?

Seriously, finding a GM replacement won't be that easy. Let's start making out our list:

1. Preferably young and malleable.
2. Lacks excessive self-confidence.
3. Can work with autonomy more limited than average GM.
4. Salary negotiable.
5. Doesn't hate New England weather.
6. Knows Rotisserie isn't about cooking and sabermetrics isn't about swordsmanship.
7. Hasn't worked with Larry Lucchino
8. Doesn't read the newspapers.
9. Willing to do donut commercials (Theo donated his proceeds to charity)
10.High stress tolerance.
11.Doesn't desire to become New England icon.
12.Capable of mixing smoothly with volatile personalities.
13.Can read and write (see hockey news)
14.Appreciates 'unique' position of franchise in New England culture
15.Understands franchise vision must not be his vision, however likely to succeed or logical.

So, for current GMs, it's more abuse, more money, and less autonomy. For wannabe GMs, it's the opportunity, more money, more abuse, and one hand on the wheel. Let's see. Who's not going to leap at that? Welcome, Tony!