Saturday, October 15, 2005


Schadenfreude: "the act of deriving pleasure from another's misery."

I suppose that we all revel in the fall of the mighty sometimes. We mere mortals are treated to stories of indictment of high government officials and the stain of steroid abuse by 'superstars'. Some feel compelled to visit to kick sand in the Red Sox Nation's collective faces because the Sox didn't repeat. I can't recall saying (or believing) that they would, and I certainly wouldn't have bet the farm, even a Fisher-Price one on it.

However, since the Team That Must Never Be Named's fans come not to praise Caesar but to bury him, let's get down to it. The TTMNBN did manage to scrape out a division tie, with a mere 203 million dollar payroll. Coverboy Alex Rodriguez rewarded fans with a .133 post-season with no production offensively or defensively. Randy Johnson did scrape out 16 wins at about a million per victory, and Jason Giambi (now reborn with Stay-Puff Marshmallow muscles) evidently has resumed his 'vainglorious' training regimen. Twiggy Giambi is bursting at the seams again, evidently working out 365-24-7.

Brian Cashman is under hot pursuit by the Philadelphias, and if Cashman liked the Apple, then he'll love The City That Boos Santa Claus. Oh, yeah, those free agent acquisitions Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright sure look promising down the road. Oh well, it's only money, and George of the Jungle has plenty of that to fritter away.

Steinbrenner's not going to fire Joe 'Catcher' Torre, with the ingredients to this recipe going for 6 extra large per season, and Mel Stottlemyre must need psychotherapy by now.

Yes, the TTMNBN did get great work from the Serendipity Spinners, Smalls and Chacon, and what's the over-under in Vegas for them combining on 20 wins next year?

Of course, the locals have some issues, too. The Bosox have a starting pitching staff on the verge of Medicare eligibility, and it remains to be seen whose the bigger Idiot, Sox management at 40 for 4 or JD. The Sox bullpen is quite possibly going to depend on the Kiddie Korps, but as a loyal (but not card-carrying) member, I'm in favor guys like Hansen and Delcarmen who bring heat AND just a little bit of wildness to keep hitters light in their cleats.

I don't see Konerko abandoning the White Sox (who will likely pay up to keep him around), and the Sox have some issues with a certain free agent GM who brought the team three playoff seasons, minor league prosperity, and a Championship in three years. I'm in favor of paying the Architects of Success their due, not just spreading it around for the onfield product.

So, rest easy Red Sox Nation, from Toddlers on up, you've been to the mountain top. Meanwhile, preschoolers in The Empire State have never experienced a World Series Title, unless they just moved in from Anaheim or Boston.


Anonymous said...

Nicely done, Ron. You can turn a phrase...

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