Dress Code?

Unlike the NFL, Major League Baseball seems to have some informality associated with it. Sure, they practically strip searched Terry Francona to see if he were wearing a uniform jersey, but what can you expect from a sport whose motto is, "so great that even idiotic management can't ruin it."

Baseball players have a thousand different kinds of shoes, wear socks of an infinite number of lengths, and some guys like Manny Ramirez wear their unis like pajamas. Others want the tailored look, as though chasing Baseball Annies was their primary job. Not to mention differing gloves, wristbands, body armor, and so on. Some players just look 'professional' like Mike Lowell every day, and others have caps (Timlin/Nixon) that look as though they've been trampled daily in the Ponderosa.

But that omits my own personal issues. As a loyal Red Sox fan, can you picture yourself wearing a Yankee cap or a Yankee jacket? Nausea? How about projectile vomiting? Yes, I do have a picture of Joe DiMaggio in my office, but a picture represents respect, not unvarnished loss of my mental faculties. I wouldn't even take a wager that might involve me wearing a Yankee cap, or even a Yankee wristwatch. Not happening. Cripes, I practically respond like Wally in the ESPN commercial with Papi wearing the Yankee cap.

I respect the Yankees, and Joe Torre, and even have empathy for The Boss and his family for the suffering that his health entails. Been there and done that. But I'm not clamoring for the Sox to sign any of the New York family to repopulate Fenway. Puh-lease.

No the Yankees, from the Bronx Zoo, to Sparky Lyle sitting on birthday cakes, to Elston Howard breaking up Billy Rohr's no-hitter, and Roger Maris breaking Babe Ruth's record, get my attention and my respect, but wearing their gear? Nyet. Not happening. Never.

Enough. It's all about waxing the Tribe, starting now.