Monday, March 26, 2007

In Search of Controversy

It's not even the regular season yet, so we're struggling to find Claymation Death Matches. Let's try to come up with a rundown of possible candidates.

  • Dan Shaughnessy versus Curt Schilling. Evidently Shaughnessy wants Schilling off of his turf. Well, who really knows, because who's reading Dirty Dan these days anyway. At least we have reason to believe that Shaughnessy's work is his own, compared with a certain other Globe scribe under the cloud of suspension.
  • Devern Hansack versus Kyle Snyder. Well, Snyder won this one, because he had no options and the 'Nicaraguan Nightmare' gets to know Ben Mondor up close and personal.
  • Coco Crisp versus Jacoby Ellsbury. Coco had an injury-plagued, underachieving inaugural season with the Sox, although he did have his moments like the diving catch depriving the hated Mets of a victory...not as hated as the Yankees, but just a little payback for 1986. Very little. And the New Yorkers argue that Paydro Martinez' contract turned the franchise around. As for Ellsbury, he's just trying to live out the American dream.
  • Craig Hansen versus, well, Craig Hansen. Inside the current Craig Hansen is the 97 mph, nasty slider, lights out closer Craig Hansen. We can only hope that he can find his way out.
  • Mike Timlin versus Father Time. Timlin's timeline is somewhere around April 1oth; at least I think that I read that somewhere. That odometer is showing a lot of mileage, and we can only hope that Iron Mike can turn it back.
  • Julio Lugo versus Butch Hobson? We all hope that Lugo doesn't remind us of the 1978 version of Butch Hobson in the field, the proverbial scatter-arm.
  • Dustin Pedroia versus The Green Monster. The Monster isn't exactly the same with the net replaced by seats, but let's hope that Pedroia doesn't get seduced and Jack-Happy with the prospect of popping fly balls off of over over the Monstah. So far he's looked more like Doug Griffen at the plate than in the field, and that's not necessarily 'a very good thing'.
Daisuke had 5 walks in five innings today, but if you don't allow any hits, then you can get away with some walks. Of course, in the AL, those walks will kill you. Here's saying that the king of Doryoku (unflagging effort) was just working on some new wrinkles.

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