Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Chilled (L5-2) Season 3-5

Most of you probably saw the game, so I'll deliver the Letterman 10 reasons not to watch this game.

10. April games are too damned cold. The only good thing about that is your beer stays cold.

9. The Yankees and the Red Sox shouldn't be playing 6 games in April. That's not right.

8. The curse of no Kevin Youkilis, Billy Beane's Greek God of Walks. Youkilis was sent down and Blaine Neal lives. Blaine must have incriminating photos of Master Theo.

7. Christopher Trotman Nixon may have lost weight, but not any skill, as he has an early season OPS of 1.048 including 2 homers and 7 RBI. Unfortunately the effort got wasted tonight.

6. If you didn't watch tonight, you wouldn't have seen Curt Schilling (tiring in the 6th, give up homeruns to Jason Giambi and Bernie Williams.

5. You also wouldn't know that Manny Ramirez had the longest streak of homerless games to open his career.

4. You could have saved your money to watch Randy Johnson pitch against lead guitarist Bronson Arroyo tomorrow. Let's hope that Bronson can play a tune on the Yankees.

3. If you hadn't watched tonight, you would think that Edgar Renteria remained below the (Mario) Mendoza line. Was it Mendoza who had the line 'bench me or trade me?'

2. Absent Sean McDonough, we have a key deficit of the 'INANE BANTER' so essential to the baseball marathon.

1. You never see this. Tonight's game was remarkable for the total absence of anything remarkable at all. There was a deficit of great fielding plays, key hitting by the Sox, any late rallies, or any apparent fan shenanigans.

Baseball Factoid. The pitching rubber was initially designed to be 60'6" from the plate, but the plans were read incorrectly.

Running totals from the useless stat department. Games 8, quality starts - 4, record 3-1
non-quality starts - 4, record 0-4

It's always about the pitching. "The only thing that matters is what happens on the little hump out in the middle of the field." - Earl Weaver

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